HUMORESQUE
(From the tune of the same name)

Passengers will please refrain
From flushing toilets while the train
Is standing in the Station, I love you.
We encourage constipation
While the train is in the Station
While the train is moving, so can you.

If you must water, please call the porter
And he will place a vessel in the vestibule
Tramps who're riding underneath
Will catch it in the face and teeth
The running water makes me think of you.
- - - -
We like to go out after dark
And goose the statues in the dark
If Sherman's horse can take it –
So can you.
Chorus girls and dancing ladies
Must take douches or have babies –
How do you like the way I part my hair
- - - -
Little birds that fly the ocean
When their bowels receive the motion
Drop their little droplets in the sea.
That is how they formed Great Britain –
It was by the seagull shittin'
And the evidence is here for all to see.

From Songs of the Century dated March 1945. It can be seen online here:

https://archive.org/details/1945songsofthecentury/mode/2up