One of the things that needs attention for me is
my attitude toward my family's occasional surveillance/harassment.
Over the years it has declined so that it hardly happens,
there were years when something happened on a daily basis.

The thing is that I still let it bother me more than is healthy.
What I worked out this past week is that
I feel guilt about abandoning my family, against all reason,
and the guilt is what makes me so paranoid.

This means that I have more work to do. I don't think it will be fun.
But if I can't get it done here, then where?