This was mentioned by Ken Brock on 08 Dec 13:


ADELAIDE’S LAMENT
Words and music by Frank Loesser, written for the musical play “Guys and Dolls,” 1950.
Sung by Vivian Blaine in both the original Broadway production and the 1955 film.

It says here:
“The average unmarried female, basically insecure,
Due to some long frustration, may react
With psychosomatic symptoms, difficult to endure,
Affecting the upper respiratory tract.”

In other words, just from waiting around for that plain little band of gold,
A person can develop a cold.
You can spray her wherever you figure the streptococci lurk.
You can give her a shot for whatever she’s got but it just won’t work.
If she’s tired of getting the fish-eye from the hotel clerk,
A person can develop a cold.

It says here:
“The female remaining single, just in the legal sense,
Shows a neurotic tendency—see note— [Spoken:] Note.
Chronic organic symptoms toxic or hypertense,
Involving the eye, the ear, the nose, and throat.”

In other words, just from worrying whether the wedding is on or off,
A person can develop a cough.
You can feed her all day with the vitamin A and the Bromo-Fizz,
But the medicine never gets anywhere near where the trouble is.
If she’s getting a kind of name for herself, and the name ain’t his,
A person can develop a cough.

And furthermore, just from stalling, and stalling, and stalling the wedding trip,
A person can develop La grippe!
When they get on that train to Niagara and she can hear church bells chime,
The compartment is air-conditioned and the mood sublime,
Then they get off at Saratoga for the fourteenth time,
A person can develop La grippe.

La grippe! La post-nasal drip,
With the wheezes and the sneezes and a sinus that’s really a pip!
From a lack of community property and a feeling she’s getting too old,
A person can develop a bad, bad cold!

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The sheet music, arranged for voice and piano, with chord names, can be seen in Professional Singers Audition Book, by Paul Honey, Jack Long, and Nick Crispin, which is viewable online here.

Recordings are available by Vivian Blaine, Faith Prince, Barbra Streisand, Carol Burnett, and several others.