The new mailbox arrived today; ironically, it was delivered by FedEx. I'll put it up this evening. Most mail theft is a speedy step up on the porch, grab the exposed mail, and move on. Anything that requires noise or energy is bound to repulse theft, so I'll use long screws to attach this to a stud behind the porch siding.

I'm going to give that "deep cleaning" from Martha Stewart a try, though only on the bathrooms to start with.