SWING THAT THING
As recorded by Joel Mabus on “The Naked Truth,” 1988.

Ever’body gather round
When they hear that swing's in town.
Ever’body say: swing that thing!

When a man starts to play,
Ever’body say: “Hey!
Hey, hey, hey, buddy, swing that thing!”

Yeah, swing it hot; swing it cool; make that rhythm pop.
Once you start to swing that thing, there’s trouble if you stop.

Professors in music school
Tell the kids: “Forget the rules.
Just hold on tight now an’ swing that thing!”

[instrumental break]

Now, bluegrass pickers forget their licks.
Peter, Paul, and Mary, they drop their picks
When people ask them to swing that thing.

Musicians from the hearts of space*
Raise their hands and slap their face.
They say: “I didn’t know we could actually swing that thing!”

Yeah, it drives women crazy, makes men insane.
Once you start to swing that thing, you’ll never be the same.

Kids forget to rock ’n’ roll.
Grandpa, he just lose control
When grandma says: “Couldn’t swing that thing.”

[instrumental break]

Now, Louie was the king of France
But Louie didn’t stand a chance
When the people said: “Swing that king!”

Luther told the pope o’ Rome,
Said: “Pops, leave your stuff at home,
Man, ’cause people up here, we want to do that Swingli thing.”

Yeah, swing it high, swing it low, swing it upside down.
Once you start to swing that thing, you’ll never touch the groun’.

Mozart said to J. S. Bach,
Said: “Johann, put your horn in hock,
Man, ’cause you ain’t never gonna swing your thing!”

[begins instrumental break]

Swing it, Johann!
[Plays a bit of the counterpoint to “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring” without swinging it.]
Nice try! Swing that thing!

[finishes instrumental break]

Yeah swing it high, swing it low, swing it upside down.
Once you start to swing that thing, you’ll never touch the groun’.

Now the people come from miles aroun’
When they hear the swing’s hit town.
Ever’body say: “Swing that thing!”
Ever’body say: “Swing that thing!”

- - -
* Reference to a weekly syndicated radio show called Music from the Hearts of Space, later Hearts of Space, that featured ethereal “New Age” and electronic music.