Being estranged from a sibling is a complex situation; our parents seemed to have some influence on my youngest brother, though even they at times said they were afraid of him. When it comes to the sibs, we all recognize that he is more likely to hurt one of us than a stranger. He has a mental illness that is untreated; there may be underlying chemical imbalances. He had trouble in school, and as an adult it got a lot worse. He can't hold a job for very long. He is smart, he knows how to do a lot of things, but he can't get along with people. His one skill seems to be charming little old ladies, but even there, I fear some dreadful outcome one day.

Anything that happens is someone else's fault, when he's fired at a job it always ends up (when he tells the story) that when he talks to the boss the boss understands and ends up siding with him (but somehow he is still fired?) - so there is no knowing the truth of occasions like that. He had a union job with low seniority and his co-workers voted him onto the night shift, and then those workers insisted that he work in the tail section of airplanes (at Boeing) where they didn't have to deal with him. He's not in that job now, my other brother thinks he might have figured out a way to collect disability so he's not doing any of his old side gigs (not advertising because it could nullify the disability). He's a gambling addict and has lost all of the family stuff he hoarded from our parent's estates (that he fought so hard to get his hands on.) He has lost two houses and a condo, and now lives in a single-wide mobile home.

He tried scamming family, including he tried to shake down our rich aunt and uncle in another country. He kept going to the other brother's house, and that brother gave him money to get him to go away - and you know that isn't going to work. Only when the cash was no longer offered did that stop. No one lives close to him now, though that younger brother can probably track down any of us, but no one will open the door to him or take his calls. I've told my grown children not to give him the time of day if he managed to track them down.

Years ago we tried reaching out to the woman who he had a child with; we sent gifts to the child via the mother - they were returned "refused" in the mail. I have a nephew I've never met, but now that he's over 21, the next time I'm in the area I will look him up.