Think about what it's like to stand up in front of a room full of people, feeling that they're only there to "see the monkey dance" - for the millionth time. When the money's good, the monkey-boy will do whatever it takes to get through the dance one more time.

Alcoholism is a horrible, defeating thing. But, in my opinion, if "This world is a sh*thole" sums up your life view, alcoholism is not the real problem. My Polish family had quite a few elder males who were undoubtedly functioning alcoholics. They held down jobs, went to church on Sunday, didn't abuse their wives or children (that I know of, anyway) and died after enjoying a good long life.

People self-medicate for a lot of reasons - boredom and fear are just two that come to mind - and it's not always through booze or drugs, either. Sex, gambling, various adrenaline triggers, obsessions of all sort (religious zealotry, too, perhaps?) can start out as coping tools and become inescapable traps.

It's not an easy world; you learn as you go. If you had a good upbringing, and you're lucky, you avoid the traps and develop the life skills and playing skills (I believe it was Rick F. who used those terms in the John Fahey thread) that you need to be a well-rounded human being and a respected performer.

Bart