Why do Pushchairs?
Tell me, why do pushchairs need such enormous wheels?
Are people really going to be pushing them across wet ploughed up fields?
Their occupants are minuscule though precious to be sure
But do they actually need the babys’ equivalent of the four by four?
Do Tarquin and Atlantis, though mum thinks them the greatest
Need all that chrome and aluminium to enhance their social status?
Those old style buggies were ideal for the busy dad or mother
You could fold them up with one hand
Holding onto Junior with the other.
“Oh, you’re such a grumpy so and so – I don’t know what all the fuss is!”
But where the situation gets ridiculous is taking them on buses
Two women got on a rush hour bus in town the other day
Both pushing these monstrosities
In they swept like a tidal wave.
Did they bother to fold them up – consideration shown?
No! – oblivious in the gangway gobbing down their phones.
“With our shopping bags, pushchairs and big fat bums all access we’ll deny
Old ladies you must leapfrog or sprout wings and fly-
They shall not cross our barricades – we have dug in our heels
With our mighty pushchairs – and their enormous wheels”.