The Oldham Tinkers put this song together in 1967 from their memories of their schooldays and the play songs and rhymes they and their friends sang about teachers and other figures of authority. Here are the Oldham Tinkers singing it:    • Pounds, Shillings...

This song was requested by Kristine James.

Lyrics and chords:
D …………………………................….....…….. A7
Down at our school, teachers are so funny,
……………………………………….................................…..….. D
If tha wants to see 'em, thas have to pay some money.
…………………………….....…....................….. A7
Soldiers half a crown, sailors half a guinea,
…………………………........…................…… D
Big fat men two 'n ten, little kids a penny.
Down at our school, things are rather funny,
Kids do all the bloody work and teachers get the money.
Let thi whiskers grow, let thi whiskers grow. What's the use o' shavin'?
Pull 'em out bi the roots, they'll mek laces fer thi boots. Think o't money thas savin'.

Our sir is kind, our sir is gentle.
Our sir is strong and our sir is mental.
T' teacher at our schoo', well he goes to church on Sunday,
To pray to the Lord to give him strength to wallop us kids on Monday.

Once upon a time when birds dropped lime and monkeys chewed tobaccer
Little piggies run with their fingers up their bum to see what was the matter.
Micky Plum with a gas tar bum went rollin' down the river.
He caught his belly on a piece of jelly. It made poor Micky shiver.

A'll tell you a tale about a snail what jumped in t' fire an' burnt 'is tail.
A'll tell you another about his brother. He did the same, the silly owd bugger.

Youtube video, songs, and text found on this page:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2rY9DppanY