The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #32018   Message #418644
Posted By: catspaw49
15-Mar-01 - 07:12 PM
Thread Name: BS: FUN Surgical & Testing Procedures
Subject: FUN Surgical & Testing Procedures
In another thread, some of us were discussing medical tests and how to tell others about them....a "Primer" of sorts on what to expect in everyday terms. It started with mammograms and went from there. To start this off, Matt, Biskit, Mousethief, and I agree that this is a reasonable explanation:

COLONOSCOPY: Drink a gallon of water and two quarts of milk of magnesia, crap yourself to death, then insert 3 foot of garden hose up your kazoo.

Here's another for you.......Its called an Endotracheal Echo Cardiogram or EEC:

EEC: Take a section of garden hose about 24" long and glue on ridged rings at one inch intervals. Then have someone spray your throat a few times with Chloraseptic and let them insert the ridged hose down your throat into the trachea. After about a foot is in, have them pull the hose back and forth while rotating it for about 10 minutes. Give them these instructions ahead of time as you will be preoccipied gagging.

Okay......who's next?