The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #32018   Message #418863
Posted By: Seamus Kennedy
16-Mar-01 - 01:57 AM
Thread Name: BS: FUN Surgical & Testing Procedures
Subject: RE: BS: FUN Surgical & Testing Procedures
I went to have my deviated septum (some folks say it's the least deviated part of me) fixed. Lying on the table with a valium drip - God, it was good! - and some other drug - I can't remember which, but God, it was good too! Why do you have to wear a johnny which exposes your butt when you're having your nose worked on? I was partially awake and talking to the surgeon who was performing the operation while he was breaking little bits off the bone in my nose with what felt like a vise-grip, and I could hear the "CRUNCH, CRUNCH" as he did so. I asked him to let me see the pieces, which he did, before he dropped them in a little stainless-steel dish with a "Ping!" justs like Doc Adams in Gunsmoke used to remove a bullet from a patient, hold it up in the forceps for inspection, and drop it into a little steel dish with a "Ping!" The pieces of my nose bone were much smaller than I had imagined them to be when he was breaking them off.... Finally, after he had broken off 6 or 7 fragments, he said he was done, and would I like to take the pieces home with me? I said, "Oh yes, I would!" And when I woke up 2 hours later, there they were waiting for me in a piece of gauze by my bed. Incidentally the operation did not cure my snoring.

All the best.