Lots of thoughts occur about my own fears of the death of loved ones, and the natural order of things that should have parents dying before their children. But this is about you, and how to process the pain.

What comes to mind is spending quality time with other people, with exploring music and poetry that speak to this mourning period. What do you and your son do for meals, for music, for shared time together? What activity would honor your late DIL? Did she cook, garden, knit, or make furniture or pots? Something you can learn that connects you with her, shares her gifts to you. (The death of a friend at age 21 had my daughter crocheting hats for everyone, because the friend had taught her that needle art.)