Sometimes An Eggplant
Words: The Aubergenius        
Tune: Bold Doherty

Sometimes an eggplant is only an eggplant,
Perfectly normal and not at all queer.
Purple and shiny and moist and delicious
Like the fat aubergine I’m holding here.
Singing         Aubergine-ay, auberginarity
                    Auberginarity Aubergine-ay.

        Can’t an emoji be just an emoji?
        Why can’t an inkblot be only a blot?
        Why can’t a word be a single entendre?
        And why should I care if it’s single or not?

Sometimes a symbol is only a symbol
If we have two we can make a big noise.
We’ll buy an eggplant and cook a moussaka,
Cheesy Greek meatloaf for fat-bottomed boys
Who sing Aubergine-ay, auberginarity
              Auberginarity Aubergine-ay.

        I wear my aubergines over my undergines
        I tuck my undergines into my socks
        Under my turtleneck I carry turtles, all
        Cleverly fastened with bagels and locks.

Next time you look at a peach or papaya
Don’t think of genitals, butthole or tush.
When you imagine a big purple eggplant
Pray to your guru, old Baba Ghanoush.
Singing Aubergine-ay, auberginarity
            Auberginarity Aubergine-ay.