Sorry about the swearing in the following::

A young novice's first job in her new convent was to keep the birds out of the veg garden. One day, Mother Superior, watching from her upstairs window, to her horror witnessed the young nun waving her arms around shouting "Fuck off, crows!"

She called her into her office and told her, "Now look here, my dear, we don't tolerate that sort of behaviour here."

"So what do I do to get rid of the birds, Mother?"

"You wave your arms and shout 'Shoo, crows!'

THEN they'll fuck off!"