The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #32018   Message #419698
Posted By: campfire
16-Mar-01 - 11:42 PM
Thread Name: BS: FUN Surgical & Testing Procedures
Subject: RE: BS: FUN Surgical & Testing Procedures
WYSIWYG got the same endometrial biopsy I did. Wonderful description.

A few years before the endometrial biopsy, I had cervical biopsies. Basically same procedure, except my doctor accidently (?) let me SEE the instrument of torture before insertion. Three little steel "teeth" that open and close in a triangle pattern as he squeezes and releases the handle...looked like "Alien" jaws to me.

Of course, you can't have a local anesthetic before they rip off little chunks of you, because the anesthetic might change the morphology of the cells in the samples. And a general "isn't worth it", because the whole procedure only takes a few minutes.

So the nice doctor turns Jaws loose up there, rips off a nice hunk of me (OUCH!!!), withdraws and places the sample in the vial. As he prepares to go in for another, he realizes my thighs are tense and quivering, and he says "You really need to relax"!

I wondered how relaxed HE would be if I were waving those three little teeth at HIS privates...

Six samples later, he decides that's enough. Swabs me out with some sticky stuff that's supposed to stop the bleeding, but stings like the dickens.

I'm so glad I'm a woman.