The Tory Party Chairman on BBC Breakfast this morning, struggling manfully to impart a lustre on a sizeable piece of fæcal matter, following their disastrous performance in the two by-elections yesterday. I felt slightly sorry for him initially, but I soon came to my senses.

Worrying to see the Reform UK (formerly UKIP and The BrexShit Party) polling comparatively well. Apparently racism and xenophobia are alive and well in parts of the UK.