Great job, Bob.

Here's a transcription of an original recording by Harry Champion:

LIARTY

The other night, dressed in my best, a trilby hat and fancy vest,
I took a stroll all round the West, a lady there gave me the wink.
Outside a bun shop in The Strand, her bun undone, she couldn’t stand.
I murmured as I took her hand I said “I thought you said you didn’t drink”
“You are a Liarty, you’ve not been drinking cups of Lyon’s tea!”,
“You’ve had a lot of diddly, so you needn’t come and try and diddle me.”

My missus said she’d like to go to spend a nice quiet week or so
With her Mam-ma in Felixstowe, “Oh certainly” I said to Jane.
I packed her boxes up at once, I called a cab – I’m not a dunce,
I told her she could stop for months and as I locked her in the train,
I said “Goodbye-i-tee!” then as soon as she was out of sight you see,
I went and had a cup of tea with the woman round at number thirty-three.

I went and bought, one summer’s day, a pair of trousers, what a jay.
I put ‘em on but strange to say they fitted me like a balloon.
They must have caught me with their tricks, they only charged me one and six
Now they can have them back for nix, those pantaloons I bought in June
I wore ‘em in July-i-tee when the rain was dropping from the sky-i-tee.
They’ve shrunk a bit, but hold your row, they’re a pair of Tommy’s knickerbockers now.

I had an idea in me brain, to make meself an aeroplane.
I bought some old iron down the lane, and pinched a lot of other things
A pair of props from Mrs. Green, I stuck a sheet on in-between,
A small machine, and para-feen then orf I went and spread me wings.
I tried to fly–i-tee and I started off from Peckham Rye-i-tee.
I tumbled down upon St. Paul’s - with the steeple sticking in my overalls.
I tumbled down St Paul’s, teapot sticking in me overalls!

LFF