Another from Steve :-D

Bloke went into a bakers, and he said, "I'll have a couple of those rolls in the window there please."
The baker grabbed a pair of tongs and a paper bag and took the rolls out from the window and put them in the paper bag.
"And could I have two of those small cakes there in the window please."
"Certainly, sir." The baker took another paper bag, and with his pair of tongs he took the two cakes out of the window, and put them carefully in the paper bag.
"I must say," said the chap, "I'm very impressed by the fact that you use tongs to handle everything and don't touch things with your hands."
"Oh yes," said the baker, "we always attend very carefully to hygiene in this shop. No human hand ever touches our foods!"
The chap said, "I can't help noticing, though, that you have a long piece of string hanging from the front of your trousers. What's that all about?"
"Ah," said the baker, "if need to go for a wee, I don't like to touch anything 'down there' for hygiene reasons, so I pull the piece of string and my old man simply pops out and I can have a wee!"
"Wow, that's very hygienic," said the chap. "Just one little thing, though. How do you manage to put your, er, 'old man' back in again once you've had a wee?"
"No problem," said the baker. "I just use these tongs... "