The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #172983   Message #4197949
Posted By: Donuel
25-Feb-24 - 08:23 AM
Thread Name: BS: Joke thread for 2024
Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024
a joke needs correction. In America, a jury does not decide charges.
An alternate charge must be made by the State or prosecution and there are rules that apply to that. A jury may only determine guilty, not guilty, or hopelessly hung. They can not decide on a lesser or greater charge. There is great latitude when awarding penalties and damages.

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.
The judge asks her "First offender?"
She replies "No, first a Gibson, then a Fender."


I finished a murder trial, I was representing the defendant. The only defence I had was that there was no body found. I knew I was going to lose the case, so for my closing argument, I looked at my watch and I told the jury the victim is going to walk through that door in a minute. The entire jury looked over at the door waiting for the person to walk through. Of course, the person did not walk through. I then told the jury, look, that proves you have some reasonable doubt that my client is nnocent because you were waiting for the victim to walk through the door. That’s it, that was my closing argument.
The jury came back with a guilty verdict. I asked the jury after, and I said you all looked at the door. The jury said ‘Yeah, we all did look at the door. But guess who did not?
Your client.’