If asked, being an old pedant, I will probably sing "Danny Boy", but substitute "Eily Dear" as I always use the male's lyrics wherever possible. Sometimes causes slight confusion in the audience, but 98percent of the words are the same,and it makes more sense, if anyone thinks about or listens to the lyrics.

I will also avoid any of the plastic pseudo-Irish pubs that have proliferated in recent years. Anyone who has experienced the real thing would do the same.

I will consume any Guinness, Jamesons, Paddy, Old Bushmills or Tullamore Dew that may be placed in front of me.

But no rebel songs, however much they pay me, if asked, I will sing instead:

"Against all Satan's spells and wiles, Against false words of heresy, Against the knowledge that defiles, Against the heart's idolatry, Against the wizard's evil craft, Against the deathwound and the burning, the choking wave, the poisoned shaft, Protect me, Christ, till thine returning. Against the demon snares of sin, The vice that gives temptation force, The natural lusts that war within, The hostile men that mar my course, Or few or many, far or nigh, In every place and in all hours, Against their fierce hostility, I bind to me these holy powers."

The author? St Patrick, of course!