Well, I was bored at work today and decided to give this a shot despite the radio silence... apologies if this American Folkie makes some mistakes along the way. The tune is, of course, a variation on The Old Gray Mare (Ain't What She Used To Be). There's several good puns in the song (cents-sense and boarding house-2x4)
Transcribed by ear from the YouTube video Joe provided above. Two spots I'm not 100% certain on: "The boss who settled money" and "To get my sanity"
TWELVE PENCE AIN'T A SHILLING (Tom Glazer)
I was feeling kind of hungry, so I thought I'd buy some bread Went into the local grocery store Put down the usual money, but the grocer shook his head Twelve pence ain't a shilling anymore
CHORUS And the old pound note don't buy what it used to, don't Buy what it used to, don't buy what it used to, oh The old pound note don't buy what it used to Twelve pence ain't a shilling anymore
Oh, decimals are easy, they only make good sense The boss who settled money was a bull That loaf was two shillings, see, now it's twenty pence And twelve pence ain't a shilling anymore
CHORUS
I was living in a boarding house, my room was rather small Matter of fact, it was only two by four The landlord decimalized the rent and moved into the hall Twelve pence ain't a shilling anymore
CHORUS
Now, my coat was worn and ragged, my shirt began to wilt Every time I moved my trousers tore They've been patched so many times now, they'll look like granny's quilt Twelve pence ain't a shilling anymore
CHORUS
Last Friday I stood in line to get my sanity Teller laughed until his sides were sore With taxes and insurance, you've got nothing, minus three Twelve pence ain't a shilling anymore