Here is my effort, not from AI. There's no tune yet so the meter might need adjusting:-


They disappeared one by one
Holy statues on the run
Both priest and layman hollered “THEFT !”
That's not the reason why they left
Three of them had gone away
On a Holy holiday

It was St Bernadette’s idea.
She whispered in an angel’s ear
If they could just get Jesus down
They’d spend the night out on the town
And so, the three of them took flight
And disappeared into the night

Now, Jesus was inclined to roam
Last time He was away from home
For forty days and forty nights
Far from Irlams o' th Height*
But that time didn’t end so well
He died to save our souls from Hell

This time, there was worse to come
He’d reckoned without his mum
As days and weeks and months went past
She knew he needed finding fast
So she too parted from St Luke*
To give her son a sharp rebuke

The story made it to the press
It was declared a crime, no less
But if Our Lady finds a trace
The statues could be back in place
Be sure their punishment will be
Straight to bed without their tea

*The church involved was St Lukes, Irlams o' th Height.


DC