Three dogs are sitting in the vet's waiting room.

The dogs ask each other what they're in for.

The first dog says, "I just can't help myself regarding the postman. I got so angry the other day that I bit him. Now I'm being put to sleep."

The second dog says, "Well I bark a lot. I know I'm not supposed to bark all night, but I just can't help myself. So I'm being put to sleep too."

The first two look at the third dog for his story.

"Well, my owner likes to do her housework in the nude," he said. "Yesterday, she bent over to hoover under the settee. I couldn't help myself: I jumped on her from behind and had the best ten minutes of my life!"

The other two dogs looked at him compassionately. "So you're being put to sleep too?"

"What? No, I'm here to have my nails clipped!"