I have a hard time thinking of Holly as an Ancient Matriarch. A Timeless Matriarch, perhaps.

Anyhow, she had nothing to do over the Fourth of July holiday, so she revised her song.

Hello!

How was your Fourth of July? Did you march in the Charade, watch it, judge it, go to the headlands, get stuck in traffic, eat things you knew weren’t good for you? Or did you stay home and hide under the bed?
I sequestered myself in my study. I hung a suet cake on the porch and watched the Steller’s jays duke it out with the acorn woodies. I sang a Bulgarian song with my canary Blondel.
Then I sat down at my desk and addressed an issue noted by an astute reader: my song parody, Mendo Blues Again was much shorter than the original. So I’ve added a couple verses and revised the chorus.


The Mendo Blues Again

Wyrds: Fatguru Baba Ghanoush
Tune: Bob Dylan, Stuck Outside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kh6K_-a0c4

Oh, the flagman waves in circles
Up and down the road
I’d ask him what the matter was
But I know that he’d explode

And the hardhats treat me kindly
And offer me a grape (alternatively: And I offer them a grape)
But here inside my Honda
I know I can’t escape

Oy, Caltrans, can this really be the end?
To be stuck here on this highway
With the Mendo Blues again

Now my main man gave me two cures
And he said, sit right here
One was Humboldt medicine
The other was just home-brewed beer

And like a shmuck I chugged them
And it muggled up my brain
And now Fort Bragg just gets uglier
And I have no sense of pain
Oy, Caltrans, can this really be the end?

Do you think the drivers sitting here

Have endless time to spend?


Taylor Swift, she's in the alley
With her high-heeled shoes and her bell
Singing with some Caspar crone
Who says she knows me well

And I would send a message
And tell her, “Get thee hence,"
But the Post Office is raising
First class mail now by 5 cents

Oy, Caltrans, is this really how it ends
To be stuck here on this highway
And I can’t find my Depends

Rhoda said come see her
She was swimming in the bay
Taking selfies with the gray whales
Till the whales swam away

And I say, “Aw, come on now
You know about my friend the seal
And she says, "Your silkie just knows what you want
But I know what you feel"

Grandma died last week
And I bet she’d be pissed
If she had any inkling of
How little she’d be missed

But me, I expected it to happen
Since she’s been plagued by trolls
She threw her phone down Main Street
And shot it full of holes

Oy, Caltrans, am I going round the bend?
I’m stuck here on this highway
With the Mendo blues again.