I made this up when I was living on Comptche-Ukiah Road, three miles east of the town (not village) of Mendococino. Despite what Siri says, it's pronounced com-chee.
I recommend mudcatters heading south from Mendo take 101, as the southbound lane of Coast Highway 1 has fallen into the ocean.


To the tune of Country Roads:

Almost normal, Mendocino
Sprouts at Corners, coffee at the Good Life.
Life is weird here, weirder than you think
Raccoons in the garbage, spiders in the sink

Comptche Road, take me home
Where it ain’t so darn quaint
Where there’s no one taking photos
Take me home, Comptche Road.

I see them out on the headlands, staring at their phones
“Is that a dolphin or a whale?” is what they say.
“Give us all your money,” say the shopkeepers,
“And then go back to San Jose…”

Highway One
Take them home
To the place they belong
San Francisco, Palo Alto
Take them home, 101.

I hear their voices as I drive in to get my mail
“Is there a bathroom in this town?” is what they say.
Looking for a parking space, I’m wishing
That they all had gone home yesterday
Yesterday