Song already mentioned but, for anyone with aspirations, the “Colorectal Surgeon” -

We praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don’t shine

Respect the colorectal surgeon
It’s a calling few would crave
Lift up your hands and join us
Let’s all do the finger wave


When it comes to spreading joy
There are many techniques
Some spread joy unto the world
And others just spread cheeks

Some think the cardiologist
He might be their best friend
But the colorectal surgeon knows…
He’ll get you in the end!


Why become a colorectal surgeon?
It’s one of those mysterious things.
Is it because in that profession
There are lots of openings?

When I first met a colorectal surgeon
He did not quite understand;
I said, “It’s very nice to meet you
But do you mind if we don’t shake hands.”


He sailed right through medical school
Because he was a whiz
but he never thought of psychology
When he read passages.

A doctor he aspired to be
For golf he loved to play,
But this is not quite what he meant…
By eighteen holes a day!


Respect the colorectal surgeon
Here and now we’ll raise a glass
For the rectal surgeon, like the rectum
Can tell a liquid from a gas

We praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don’t shine