A goldsmith courted me nine months and better He defo won my heart, tagged me on twitter With his hammer in his hand, without his kit, love And so I saved his pic, 'cos he looked so fit, love
Strange news on facebook now about my lover Strange news is all around, he loves another I wish them both much joy; no, I'm not bitter But they're in for a surprise when they look at Twitter
Don't you remember when we lay together You said you loved me so, and would forever If I said that I love you, it was only for to bed you So bring your witness love, and perhaps I'll wed you
Oh, witness have I none, but on my mobile That pic you sexted me just might go viral Well if it does, my dear, though I don't mean to fright you I've pictures of my own which may not delight you
A goldsmith courted me nine months and better He fairly won my heart, tagged me on Twitter. He turned out to be a lout who did not wish to anchor But even worse than that, He was a... banker*
*Note for non-UK folks: "banker" rhymes with/is often used as a euphemism for "wanker"