Witches for Kamala
by Aurora Borealis Medicine Turkey

Ten days till election, and all through the coven,
The wymmyn were fixing a feast in the oven.

Poached pygmy hippo and blanched kangaroo,
Hummingbirducken and fruit-loop fondue,
Fricasseed froggies and kraken croquettes,
Barbecued jellyfish spread on baguettes.

French-fries served up by a senile old fart,
Stormy beef jerky, Melania tart,
Ivanka donut holes, Eric sauté,
And the goggle-eyed ghost of Roy Cohn flambé.

Flash-frozen newt eyes, sea cucumber slurry,
Sprinkled atop J.D.Vance’s pork curry.
And sweetly steaming among these comestibles,
Elon Musk’s weenie and Jeff Epstein’s testicles.

East, south, west, north! The circle was cast,
In hopes that the Goddess would be there at last.
When out by the hot tub I heard such a clatter
I flung down my phone to see what was the matter.

And what did I spy in the blackberry thorns
But a dripping wet Goddess and eight unicorns.
“I was just sitting down with my vibrating phallus
And this app they call Grindr. You girlchiks are callous,

"I came when you called, over all my objections
And got lost in the woods, thanks to Google Directions.
You nudniks invoked me, now look at my dress!
My period’s late and I’ve got PMS.”

She cursed and she mumbled, she looked like a wreck
The unicorns shuddered and shat on the deck.
So we gave her some shrooms and we got her some grub,
Gave her hot towels and she soaked in the tub.

Then she rose, hot and dripping, and gave us her blessing
And jumped in her chariot, without even dressing!
“On Isis, Astarte, Erzulie, Parvati!
Kuan Yin, Stella Maris, Shekhinah, Hecate!”

We heard her exclaim “Oy gevalt!” And I quote:
“Witches for Kamala - get out and vote!”


Holly, what's the tune for this? It seems to scan to the tune of "Who Were the Witches."