Ah, ain't teamwork great? Thank you for pointing this out, Phil and Vikki.

FIRST THINGS FIRST
(words by Alex Comfort, music by John Hasted & Eric Winter)

On the night of the Wembley Cup Final,
I had a most horrible dream.
I'd just been invited to play for United
And Mat put me into the team.
Like a regular hero I charged down the field,
The goal lay wide open ahead.
The crowd bellowed shoot,
I'd the ball on me boot,
When the ref blew his whistle and said:

"Ban the bomb! It's the highest priority.
Don't stand there kicking that ball.
If some bloody mutton should sit on the button
There'll be no more soccer at all.
O you who think nothing of scragging the ref
Just get this idea in your head.
The crowd that turns up when we play for the cup
Could scrag old Macmillstone instead."

Then I dreamed that I went to the Arctic
Exploring the wastes on a sledge
And whenever some ass fell into a crevasse
It was I pulled him back from the edge.
The Queen was so thrilled when I planted the flag
To the Palace I quickly was called.
She took out her sword to create me a lord
When in marched a penguin and bawled.

"Ban the bomb! It's the highest priority.
Someone should send for the cops.
They're all flying sorties in thirties and forties
Whenever a meteor drops.
It once was so peaceful up there in the cold
Now the bombers are swarming like lice.
Don't wait for some gupp to blow us all up
Let's put all the bastards on ice."

Then I dreamed I came home from a party
To a flat with a beautiful blond.
I'd reason to hope and I thought I could cope
And her ways were familiar and fond.
With feverish fingers I undid her hooks
And bundled her on to the bed
And I'd just reached the part where the asterisks start
When she fluttered her eyelids and said:

"Ban the bomb! It's the highest priority.
Then you can sample my charms.
With those things above I can't settle to love
And I don't want to die in your arms.
If anything slips you won't fancy my lips
And I shan't be worth taking to bed.
So don't mess around while we’re still above ground
Let's do old Macmillstone instead

from Sing Out! Vol.10, no.4, p.17, Dec/Jan 60/61


Reprinted from "Sing" Magazine


melody transcribed on request. joe@mudcat.org