Melissa mentioned this back on 08 Jun 08:


GROW, MRS. GOLDFARB
(Words by Allan Sherman, music “The Glow-Worm” famously recorded by The Mills Brothers.)
As recorded by Allan Sherman on “For Swingin’ Livers Only!” 1964, which you can hear on YouTube.

Grow, Mrs. Goldfarb, fatter, fatter.
Pile the potatoes on your platter.
Listen to me, 'cause I'm your hubby:
I just adore you plump and chubby.
I got a letter from the state, dear.
You're gonna need a license plate, dear.
My little elephant joke come true—
Chew, Mrs. Goldfarb, chew!

There is so much more of you,
More to adore of you,
'Cause you're not slender.
In your white dress, you're a doll,
Big as the Taj Mahal
In all its splendor.
When you're in department stores,
Don't use revolving doors.
You might get stuck, dear,
When you use the telephone.
Go in the booth alone,
And lots of luck, dear.

You had for breakfast: two pounds bacon.
Three dozen eggs, one coffee cake, and
Then you had something really awful:
Four kippered herrings on a waffle,
Nine English muffins, one baked apple,
Boston cream pie, Philadelphia scrapple,
Seventeen bowls of Crispy Crunch,
Then you said, "What's for lunch?"

Sweetheart, you are giant size.
You are Lane Bryant size,
My darling Myrtle.
Last Thanksgiving, I was thrilled.
You ate so much, you killed
Your living girdle.
Have another dozen shrimp,
My lovely little blimp.
Don't count a cal’rie.
I have just received a stub.
I owe the Diner's Club
A whole year's sal’ry.

Eat, Mrs. Goldfarb, daily, nightly.
Eat, though your chair is bending slightly.
Love of my life, I'm glad I found you.
Each day I take a walk around you.
I can't forget when we got married.
Over the threshold I got carried.
No other bride would be so sweet.
Eat, Mrs. Goldfarb, eat!

- - -
Information from Wikipedia: Originally a German song, "Das Glühwürmchen," from the 1902 operetta “Lysistrata,” was composed by Paul Lincke with lyrics by Heinz Bolten-Backers. An English translation by Lilla Cayley Robinson was used in the 1907 Broadway musical “The Girl Behind the Counter.” You can read these lyrics in the Wikipedia article. These versions have both verses and choruses.

Johnny Mercer wrote additional lyrics for the tune, but he used only the tune of the chorus. His version was recorded by The Mills Brothers in 1952 and became very popular. Allan Sherman’s parody uses the tune of both the verse and the chorus.