Transcribed by me from the sheet music at MuseScore.com. That website has reformatted the score with modern software; it is not an image of the original sheet music. You can view it online for free, and play it like a MIDI synthesizer, but apparently you can’t download it or print it without at least a free trial subscription.


THE WORSE YOU ARE, THE MORE THE LADIES LOVE YOU
Words and music by R. P. Weston & Bert Lee, ©1918.

1. Gilbert was once a goody-goody sort of fellow,
Just as meek and mild – as a little child.
But when he met a girl he thought he could adore,
Somehow she never seem’d to want to meet him any more.
But now that he’s as bad as he can be,
They flutter round in thousands, so you see:

CHORUS: The worse you are, the more the ladies love you,
The more they want to hang around.
Never mind the most precise girls.
It’s the bad lads who get the nice girls.
Squeeze them all, and don’t forget to tell them
All the horrible things you do
And just like the ivy that clings to the ruin,
All the girls will cling to you.

2. Brag to your girlie how you used to keep a harem,
Led the worst of lives – kept a score of wives.
She’ll scream “Good heavens!”, then she’ll murmur, pale with fright:
“Goodbye; goodbye for ever! Meet me here tomorrow night.”
But don’t say you’ve been lying when you part
Unless you want to break her loving heart.

3. Gilbert has a motto which has always prov’d successful,
Tho’ you’re Mother’s boy – Mother’s pride and joy
Swank you’re a reg’lar little devil; you may laugh,
But you bet it’s the prodigal who gets the fatted calf.
For what do girls write home when they’ve eloped?
“Dear Ma: He’s not so wicked as I’d hoped.”

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The Internet Archive has a recording by Fred Barnes on Regal G 7476, circa 1918; however, the title there is “...LIKE YOU” rather than “...LOVE YOU” and there are a few minor changes in the lyrics.