As I said earlier, it's very difficult to defend and explore territory at the same time.Some things one can only know by exploring, going where this leads, and finding out what can be known there. And then how you test whether what you have learned is true is you try living by it, day by day, and assess the results. Some things turn out to be wrong, others are wrongly understood, others understood partially and lead to more exploring, others feel like sense but have no logic and you set them aside to keep an eye out for kmore data.
Here is one place I ended up as a result, much to my utter surprise.
~Susan
HE WASHED MY EYES WITH TEARS
(Ira Stanphill)
He washed my eyes with tears, that I might see
The broken heart I had was good for me.
He tore it all apart and looked inside;
He found it full of fear, and foolish pride.
He swept away the things that made me blind,
And then I saw the clouds were silver-lined.
And now I understand 'twas best for me--
He washed my eyes with tears, that I might see.
He washed my eyes with tears, that I might see
The glory of Himself revealed to me;
I did not know that He had wounded hands;
I saw the blood he spilt upon the sands.
I saw the marks of shame, and wept and cried;
He was my substitute-- for me He died.
And now I'm glad He came so tenderly,
And washed my eyes with tears, that I might see.
(c) 1955 Singspiration Music
CHORDS
He washed my (Eb)eyes with tears, that I might (Bb7)see
The broken heart I had was good for (Eb)me.
He tore it all apart and looked in- (Bb7)side;
He found it full of fear, and foolish (Eb)pride.
He swept a- (Ab)way the things that made me (Eb)blind,
And then I (F7)saw the clouds were silver- (Bb7)lined. (F7, Bb)
And now I (Eb)understand 'twas best for (Bb7)me--
He washed my eyes with tears, that I might (Eb)see.SOURCE:
The Best of Country & Western Gospel Hymnal, Benson Music
SH
In this fashion I have gone many places I sure never thought I'd go. I first gave up being sure about, and defending, so many untested things, myself.
What I learned by living as much as I could understand, over time, accumulated into what some now see from the outside as my "faith," and others see as "my" strength.
I did not "get" it by agreeing to anyone's authoritarian view.... and when these were offered, in fact, they often slowed me down to where I could learn some other true things instead. Nor did I "make" it by myself. I saw them develop over time with the help of an able partner in close interaction.
~Susan