77. TODAY IS THE DAY

Today is the day we give babies away with a half a pound of tea
You open the lid and you pull out a kid with a ten year guarantee
If you know any ladies who want any babies just send them around to me
For today is the day we give babies away with a half a pound of tea.
I wish I were able to give out a cradle with every can of soup
Or maybe a bib or doll or a crib or a pill to cure the croup
But surely to goodness you haven't the rudeness to ask for more than that
With a package of the we give you free a handsome bouncing brat.

Come all you and your shopping here
This is the greatest bargain of the year
This is the chance you've been waiting for
Buying your kids at the grocery store
By the can, my good man, opportunity knocks at your door.
If you want a nice blue-eyed brunette
I must admit they're awfully hard to get
But I know a couple of babies who
Are just about twenty or twenty-two
They'd be glad, of a chance, just to meet with you.
You must come down and see my garden
Where the babies grow on trees
That's where their little bodies harden
In the warm day's sun and the evening's gentle breeze.
I'll let you pick yourself a sample
Take the nicest one you see,
And if you'd like to have it's Mother
Just buy another pound of tea.

[c1949]. Untitled Songbook [Blue-Ox ski club supplemental songbook]. Song #77


See here: https://www.horntip.com/html/books_&_MSS/1940s/1949ca_untitled_blue_ox_songbook_(mimeo)/1949ca_untitled_blue_ox_songbook_(found_with_blue_ox_song_book_and_has_blue_ox_symbol).pdf