A drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at a woman there, walked over to her and hugged her. She jumped back and slapped him. He immediately apologized and explained, "I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed.

"Funny, he muttered, you even sound exactly like her."