Jesus Can’t play rugby

Format:
Jesus can’t play rugby ‘cause _________________________(a).
Jesus can’t play rugby ‘cause _________________________(a).
Jesus can’t play rugby ‘cause _________________________(a).
So we don’t want him on our goddamn team.

a:
-He’ll get nailed to the goalpost
-He has holes in his hands
-We’ll get drunk off his water
-He’ll heal the other team
-His dad will fix the game
-He’ll show up 3 days late
-He never did exist
-His headgear is illegal
-He cant support a hooker
-He's only got 12 friends
-He's bleeding on the field
-The goal posts give him flashbacks
-He's got an illegal toe spike


Ending verse:
Jesus Christ we’re only kidding.
Jesus Christ we’re only kidding.
Jesus Christ we’re only kidding.
But we don’t want him on OUR GOD DAMN TEAM!

The tune is the "John Brown's Body'.