From the great lamented buttonbox box player (and sports physiotherapist by other profession), Fergie McDonald - The Shinty Referee”. He set it to one of Phil Cunningham’s tunes. The last verse is quite a mouthful!

THE SHINTY REFEREE                                                        Fergie Macdonald

In the rugged Highland Mountains in the land where men are men,
Where red deer roar and eagles soar, you’ll find him in the glen,
Chorus
With his whistle and his stopwatch and the kilt above the knee
He’s the roughest, toughest man around – the shinty referee.

When sticks go whack and bones go crack, these clansmen have no fear,
No squealing prima donnas will get adulation here,
The goal judge and the linesmen, they get pelters rude and crude,
It’s plain to see the referee has a dodgy parenthood.
Chorus

Fort William and Kingussie played a cup tie at The Dell,
The fighting up and down the pitch was like a scene from hell,
Big Jimmy Clark ran up the park and clattered Ronald Ross,
The referee gave both the knee, and shouted “I’m the boss”.
Chorus

Cup final day near Oban Bay was Newtonmore v Kyles,
That ancient feud again renewed was vengeance with no smiles,
With thirty red and yellow cards, the match was just a mess,
The referee just gave the “V” and called the SAS.
Chorus

In winter when the Jubilee is covered white with snow,
They re-enact the massacre that happened in Glencoe,
The Campbells and Macdonalds fight with shinty stick and ball,
When skin and hair begins to fly, the ref shouts “Free for all”.
Chorus

His wife one day said with dismay, “It’s changed you as a man,
Why don’t you join the ALBA crew with Gary and Hugh-Dan,
Or better still, we’ll take the boat from Mallaig o’er the sea,
And with some luck, we’ll get to Muck, and watch it on TV”.
Chorus

Fort William, Ballachulish, Oban, Camanachd and Kyles,
Kilmallie, Skye, Lochaber – yes – he travels many miles,
Glenurquhart, Inveraray, Kinlochshiel and Newtonmore,
Kingussie, Beauly, Lovat and Lochcarron by the shore.
Glenorchy, Oban, Celtic, Ardnamurchan and Strathglass,
Kilmory, Bute and Lorn and all around the Brander Pass,
There’s mid-Argyll, Boleskine, and Glengarry near Loch Ness,
Strachur and Lochside Rovers, Caberfeidh and Inverness.

Chorus x 2