I don't usually look at my phone if I use the bathroom before it's time to get up, but this morning very early I read a New York Times newsletter and it kept me awake for a while. I recognized myself, and my mother (where the practice came from), in the discussion about giving advice. There is a line about "doling out advice" feeling generous, "But unsolicited advice can backfire, said Alexandra Solomon, a clinical psychologist and host of the 'Reimagining Love' podcast. 'In its simplest form, it's a boundary violation,' Dr. Solomon said. You've involved yourself without an invitation, she added."

Without offering excuses or examples, I see myself here, and the combination of help and harm in relationships over the years. Why does it sometimes take so long for a clear explanation of what we're doing to come along and (hopefully!) effect change?