HOME! JAMES! HOME!
(Walter Hirsch, Marty Bloom, Con Conrad, 1924)

Mary went for an auto ride,
with a fellow one night,
Mary's Ma whispered “Don't go far,
keep the city in sight,
Just go slow with a brand new beau,”
Mary said “Very well!”
He got gay but she moved away,
and started in to yell!

Home! James! Don't spare the horses!
Home! James! Step on the gas,
You can drive me right to my door,
When we get there, That's all there is,
There ain't no more,

So Home! James!
You're not so clever,
get this through your dome,
This is not a parlor sofa,
and to me you're just a chauffeur,
Home! James! Home! Home!

Mary said what a great idea,
Of a wonderful night,
All you guys think you're awful wise,
You'll go out like a light,
You won't last 'cause you're much to fast,
I told you cut it out!”
Just be nice 'cause I'm cold as ice,
And listen while I shout!

Home! James! Don't spare the horses!
Home! James! Step on the gas,
You may fool the others you've met,
Just remember I'm not the girl that men forget,
So Home! James! I'm from Missouri;
Get that through your dome,
You think I'm a dumb, dumb Dora,
But I'm just a No! No! Nora,
Home! James! Home! Home!
[Baylor U. Digital Collections]