When I was working in the library I read a book by Dr Winnifred Cutler which changed my perspective on negotiating with people to get what I wanted or needed, instead of feeling obliged to agree to other people's demands. It still stands out in my mind as one of the best books I have ever read.

Note: There is no hidden message in my recommending this book, given it is about courtship. The important lessons I learned are similar to what this woman said on the review page:

"A Story from "Freida" who learned to follow the Code of Courtship:

"Frieda was 38 when she attended a workshop and explored her history with men. As she did, she recognized that her problem centered on principles four and five. When men began to show interest in her, she would typically respond with pretty much whatever they wanted. Her usual experience was to receive a phone call on a Friday afternoon from a new or not so new man who would ask her what she was doing this weekend. And usually the truth was she had no plans.

"Then when the man would suggest that they get together, although she felt uneasy about it, she would agree to see him at the last minute. She didn't like this, but didn't know how to change it. Through the exercises that follow, she learned how to communicate what she wanted. More important, she strengthened her capacity for self-control and her dignity by taking command of her calendar. Her life changed dramatically."