keberoxu, they sound like a delightful couple and I'm glad they are your friends. You and Helen have good friends who need supportive friends, and I'm glad that you're both there for a source of rational support.

Family dynamics can be terrific or they can be brutal. Who owns the house or has the right to live in it can't always withstand pressure of heirs, something I've seen play out in painful ways. Sometimes all it takes is one malcontent amongst the children to make everything horrible (my youngest brother comes to mind in our father's estate). Never assume people will behave themselves. I hope they have everything etched in stone now. I'm really sorry to insert that note of caution, but she needs to protect herself.