I haven't heard this for 40 years, and just decided to learn it. Here I have faithfully transposed the lyrics from the live version recorded with Peter Pentland at Dan O'Connels Hotel in Melbourne, 1979.
FERGIE TRACTOR
{c: Verse 1} Well I run a few acres, pays a few quids rent And I overcome troubles when they be sent Be they flood or drought, or some other factor I takes them in stride on me Fergie tractor.
{start_of_chorus} Oh me beaut little Fergie tractor Me dad, she goes like the clappers I can plough me fields or increase me yields Even comes with a silage extractor Me beaut little Fergie tractor. {end_of_chorus}
{c: Verse 2} Now the Fergie, she's a wondrous machine Love to sniff her exhaust ’cause she always runs clean There's no other machine I e’er took a jack to As fewer times as me Fergie tractor.
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{c: Verse 3} Well, the missus was nagging at me for years Mouth was always flappin’ around me ears She’d nag about me, me dog, and me farm So I ran over her on me Ferguson.
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{c: Verse 4} Well, I once had this milk-maid working for me and the material in her blouse – it filled me with glee well I gave her a wink, but I then had to sack her ’cause although she liked me, she hated me tractor
{chorus}
O now some folk say that I'd be an idiot And if brains be lightbulbs, that I'd burned out me filament o But people like that I just turn my back ter And I go in the shed and I sit on me tractor.