It’s almost the end of November, and I’m coming to terms with the fact that this latest bout of bronchitis has devoured three weeks of my life. I feel a bit better today, but better than what? I have yet to erupt into a coughing fit this morning, but then I haven’t done anything more energetic than rolling out of bed.

Over the last few days, I’ve been wrestling with the provincial authority responsible for helping people find a family doctor willing to take new patients. I’m sure the women (yes, all are women) I’ve been talking to are sensible, competent people in real life, but their employers have set them up for failure. Instead of talking naturally, they read from a script full of bafflegab about confidentiality of information, repeatedly asking for consent to processes that the citizen requesting service has implicitly consented to already by placing the initial call. They are apparently not allowed to abridge the script, cut to the chase, or say anything in their own words.

It’s obviously an arse-covering effort to manage the problem of demanding sensitive information from people without going to the trouble of building trust first. Of course, I react badly; I simply don’t believe the woman mouthing the words of the script understands what she’s saying (because she’s not allowed to rephrase in simpler terms), or that the Ministry of Health actually can guarantee confidentiality. I know the civil servants will try, but I also know that a data breach tomorrow could undo all the performative box-checking.

Bottom line: I need to find a family doctor, and I understand that I will be required to jump through hoops and pronounce ritual phrases before the creaking machinery will be put in motion.

At the end of this frustrating exchange, the woman goes into her peroration: “Please be advised that the Health Care Connect process can take anywhere from a month to a year to complete successfully. Therefore, you are encouraged to work on your own, calling doctors’ offices to request … “ Et cetera and et cetera. In other words, their much-vaunted referral system is woefully ineffective and they know it.

Way to work with the public. Not.

It’s after ten o’clock and I have to go to the drug store. Again.