I bought Mike Hardings's first five albums, so although I'd seen him in concert since then, I don't know all his stuff.

But I saw George Melly in Swinton about 40 years ago, and his version of the lobster song was a little more basic than the one quoted above.

One verse, for example:

First she gave a groan
And then she gave a grunt
Then she ran around the room
[at this point George mimed having a lobster between his legs]

Singing aye-tiddly-aye, shite or bust
Don't ever let your bollocks dangle in the dust