Sorry. This is a bit of a long story.

Just letting you know about a family issue which has been going on for a couple of months - well, actually about a year or more. I've been crying about it. The important point here is that I *cry* when I am *angry*! I am *really, really* angry, and have been for weeks.

My Aunt, my Dad's brother's wife, passed away a couple of months ago. I have known her my whole life.

She was a strong woman, could be confronting, but very inspirational and determined in her life. She achieved a lot, but also managed to p1$$ some people off at times. A bit like me, I guess. I'm good at p1$$ing people off. LOL.

I only found out she had passed away when I happened to see one of her neighbours. That neighbour also told me that my Aunt had been hijacked by a couple of relatives on her side of the family. Twice! Once to take her down south and the story was that she "would never be coming back", but she did, and the second time to plonk her unceremoniously and without any warning into an aged care facility due to her worsening dementia.

My relatives never told me any of that. Nothing! Not one measly bit of information! They also didn't tell me when she had become very ill and was in a serious condition in hospital, or that she was dying. I could have gone to sit with her, help her to move on.

They also didn't tell me - or any of my side of the family - that she had passed away. As far as I know she died alone. Again, the neighbour who I see now and then gave me the news. She phoned me to tell me.

For God's sake! What was the family thinking? Do they not care about family at all?

When I contacted my relative on my Dad's side of the family, all I got was side-stepping and very little actual, factual information. That relative told me that my Aunt had already had a private cremation. There was no notice in the local paper until about a week or so later.

I have been chasing it up ever since, especially about the possible memorial service for my Aunt.

Finally, today, two whole months later, I know with absolute certainty that the memorial will be happening this week. Most of my Aunt's friends and neighbours may not even know about it yet. Some have even left Christmas presents at her front door, not knowing that she has passed away.

I will be placing a notice in the local newspaper to make sure as many of her friends and neighbours know about it.

All I can say about this whole shemozzle is - WTF?! WTAF?! What in God's name is going on?

Unbelievable! And do you want to know what I think? It's all about money. Financially, she and my Uncle did all right and I think the vultures have been circling for some time.

I couldn't care less about the money aspect. I care the most about respecting a loved member of my family, a strong, inspirational woman I have known for all of my life. When I was growing up I lived near to them and saw them quite often, but the family on her side lived further away and may have only seen her a few times in their lives. She and my Uncle were a strong, loving part of my family life and also the lives of my father and mother, and my father's family.

My Uncle passed away about 20 years ago. He survived being a WWII prisoner of war in Changi but he was the loveliest person you could ever meet.

His philosophy was you can forgive but you don't have to forget.

I'll have to focus my energy on that philosophy, but it might take me a while to find that balance.