I was politely, but firmly, reminded by Joe recently that links have a way of expiring. So here are the lyrics that are being discussed, so that they are forever stored at Mudcat (Joe's words, & I hope I earn a gold star for this, and make up for only posting a link on the previous thread).

LYRIC ADD:

THE BALLAD OF HEROPROTAGONIST.

1.
Come gather round me people and a story I will tell,
About a brave young troubadour you should remember well,
It's a tale of might and valour, it's a tale without a twist,
And the name of this young troubadour is
Heroprotagonist.

2.
Well this young singer plied his trade in Canada's cold climes,
He kept the punters entertained with music and with rhymes,
And of all the singers in the town sure this one was the best,
This brave young man of music called
Heroprotagon-est. (Sorry,poetic licence there)

3.
He sang for celebrations, at weddings and at wakes,
At funerals and christenings, at picnics and clambakes,
And you should go to hear him, if ever you're depressed,
For he will fill your heart with joy,
Heroprotagon-est. (Poetic licence again)

4.
Now Hero sang with gusto through all the live-long year,
Except for just one single day that filled his heart with fear,
On March 16th his smile grew dim and his face it looked aghast,
"Tomorrow is St. Patrick's day" said
Heroprotagon-ast. (You know yourself)

5.
"They'll all be out tomorrow, all the Murphys, Kellys,Ryans,
And of all the bars in all the world they'll all crowd into mine,
Green plastic hats, green eggs and ham, green beer, green Irish Mist,
We'll be green from here to breakfast time," said
Heroprotagonist.

6.
"They'll want "the Irish Rover", they'll want "Black Velvet Band",
"Galway Bay","The Old Bog Road", and "God Save Ireland",
They'll sing along and drink green beer until they all are pissed,
And then they'll want them all again," said
Heroprotagonist.

7.
To escape this fearful destiny he thought him up a trick,
"I suppose I'd get a night off if I told them I was sick,
I could say I tripped and broke my leg,my head, my arm, my wrist,
But a man must earn a living," sighed
Heroprotagonist.

8.
As Paddy's Day dawned bright and clear, he took him to the pub,
Where Irishmen assembled for alcahol and grub,
He then strapped on his old guitar and consulted his song-list,
And bravely stepped out on the stage,did
Heroprotagonist.

9.
Well every head did turn to look as he began his song,
And soon the crowd did whoop and cheer, and all did sing along,
But then he heard the dreadful words, in a tone he could'nt miss,
"Do you know "The Drunken Sailor", oh
Heroprotagonist.

10.
For two hours he did grit his teeth and bravely carried on,
With "Irish Rover", "Galway Bay" and other horrid songs,
Then someone grabbed our hero's arm and in his ear he hissed,
"Play "Drunken Sailor" one more time,
Heroprotagonist.

11.
At this his patience finally gave and loudly he did roar,
" I've had about enough of this! I'll play this crap no more!
So take your "Drunken Sailor" and stick it up your ass,
I've had enough of Paddy's Day," said
Heroprotagonast (Last poetic licence,honestly)

12.
Well suddenly a silence fell, the place grew deathly quiet,
And before you'd say "Begorrah" the crowd began to riot,
The furniture began to fly, and so did shoes and fists,
And the person they were flying at, was
Heroprotagonist.

13.
Well soon the Mounties burst in, for to restore the peace,
They found the place in turmoil, and they ordered it to cease,
And when they finally got the crowd from rioting to desist,
The one man who was missing was
Heroprotagonist.

14.
A half-hour later down the road, in a quiet little place,
At a table in the corner is an old familiar face,
A-counting out a wad of notes, to smile he can't resist,
"I'll have a pint of Guinness," said
Heroprotagonist.

15.
May your muse never desert you, may your voice always be sweet,
May you always play your music on the bright side of the street,
May all your songs be tuneful, and add this one to your list,
And have a pint of black on me,
Heroprotagonist.