Willy had old Julie say? "He thinks too much. Such men are dangerousWell he was right in the case of Cassius actually, wasn't he? dead right with a dagger in his back?.. (That's just me being pedantic.)
When I opened this thread I assumed that it was going to be about disagreements with the people you play music with - how fast to play something, when to sing a particular song. The crucial thing there is whether the disagreements are really about the music, in which case working them out is just another aspect of playing really, pleasurable but at times stressful - or whether it's people playing power games, and genuine conflict.
The other thing I thought it might be about is maybe playing with people with whom you are likely to get into a disagreement any time you talk about anything other than music. And there the issue is whether the disagreement is painful and destructive, or abrasive but stimulating. And the crucial factor is whether there is mutual respect, both as regards the music and the opinions.
Well the thread's not exactly about either of those - but I think that thinking along those lines helps make it clearer for me. The key thing is, why am I part of this group? Does the disagreement get in the way of that?
I found years ago that there are very few people with whom I tend to agree across the board. And there's noone I seem to agree with all the way or all the time. Or damn few, and maybe that's only where we haven't yet identified where we differ.
I hate it to be assumed that just because I hold one view I also hold a set of others - as Vin Garbutt puts it ,
"Let's scrutinise the package deals we're offered,
Like anti-nuclear, save the whale, abortion on demand"
One reason I hate that is because that forces me to put the record straight at a stage when this will seem confrontational, rather than as an exchange of views and building of bridges.
The other side of that is, I always try to avoid doing that to other people (either assuming that they are going to agree with me, or assuming they are not going to). But it is so easy to fall into the way of it. If I've ever done that to people here, I apologise.