The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #32175   Message #426199
Posted By: GUEST,_gargoyle
26-Mar-01 - 07:30 PM
Thread Name: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
Well done - Easily one of their finest pieces.

I was going to browse for the script and them found you had it posted

Once upon a time, we used to do a rip-off (this comes as no surprise to old-time-catters who have read my views on "intellectual property) of their material - most of it is still partially memorized and lurking in the dark- recesses. This is my recollection of one other of the monologues.

"Ahh...yes I could have been a judge, but I never had the Latin. Never had sufficent of it to get beyond the juding exams. They're noted for their rigor you know? Very rigorous exams. People come staggering out saying, "Yee Gads what a rigorous exam!"

"And so I became a minor instead. A coal minor. There exams are not nearly so rigourous. They only ask you one question, "Who are you?" I got 50% on that.

"You know it very interesting work getting ahold of lumps of coal all day. Very interesting. Because the coal was made in a very unusual way. God didn't just say, "Hello, lets have a bit of coal." As could have done, (He has all the right connections you know) Oh, No he didn't do that. Instead he got this huge wind to going, and knocked all of the trees down, and then he turned it into coal, gradually, over a period of three million years.

"But the people at the time did not see it that way. They did not say, "Hurrah, coal in three million years!" No, they said, "Oh, dear, Oh, dear, trees falling on use that is the last thing we want!" And of course their wish was granted.

"You know I am very interested in the universe and all that surrounds it. I am studying Nesbitt's book, "The Universe and All That Surrounds It - An Introduction" He says that we all hurtling towards the sun and will burned up one day. But he does end the book on a postive note....he says, "I hope this will not happen."

"There is not much interest in this sort of thing down in the mines. They are very boring conversationalists. Extreamly boring conversationalists. In fact, if you were to look for a word to describe the conversations that go on down in the mine, boring would spring to your lips. Boring, Boring, Boring, extreamly boreing. If ever you would like to conversations such as, "Hello, I've found a bit of coal." "Have you really?" "Yes, no doubt about it - this black substance is coal alright." Jolly good the very thing we are looking for!"

"Not enough to keep the mind alive is it? So, all in all, I really would have rather become a judge than a miner. Because, as a miner, when you are too old and stupid and clumsy to do the job properly, you are fired: Well the very opposite applies to judging.

Good Day!