The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #32452   Message #426910
Posted By: Helen
27-Mar-01 - 05:43 PM
Thread Name: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy!
Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy!
Patrish,

What did happen after your last run-in with your boss? I remember that you posted a thread but I don't remember the details of the situation you described.

One thing you need to be aware of, so that you can either identify or discount the possibility, is workplace bullying behaviour.

What your boss said about your earrings and being stroppy could be just some inexplicable connection in his/her mind and could be of no real consequence, but it could also be an indication of nitpicking and fault-finding, and that could also be an alarm signal for workplace bullying.

I am not saying that it automatically falls into the category of bullying - what I am saying is "knowledge is power" and by knowing what workplace bullying is, what forms it takes, what the bully can get up to and try to get away with - and more importantly - how to deal with it (No. 1: keep a detailed diary of dates, times, events, witnesses of all events which make you feel worried or stressed or which seem to contravene fair work practices) then you will be in a much better position to work through the situation.

Here is a quick overview of

workplace bullying: http://www.successunlimited.co.uk/bully/bully.htm

On this page
What is bullying?
The twelve types of bullying
Forms that bullying takes
Why me?
How bullies select their targets
Events that trigger bullying
Personal qualities of targets that bullies find irresistible
The difference between bullying and harassment

What is bullying?
Bullying is persistent unwelcome behaviour, mostly using unwarranted or invalid criticism, nit-picking, fault-finding, also exclusion, isolation, being singled out and treated differently, being shouted at, humiliated, excessive monitoring, having verbal and written warnings imposed, and much more. In the workplace, bullying usually focuses on distorted or fabricated allegations of underperformance.

Why do people bully?
The purpose of bullying is to hide inadequacy. Bullying has nothing to do with managing etc; good managers manage, bad managers bully. Management is managing; bullying is not managing. Therefore, anyone who chooses to bully is admitting their inadequacy, and the extent to which a person bullies is a measure of their inadequacy. Bullies project their inadequacy on to others:

a) to avoid facing up to their inadequacy and doing something about it;
b) to avoid accepting responsibility for their behaviour and the effect it has on others, and, mainly,
c) to divert attention away from their inadequacy - in an insecure or badly-managed workplace, this is how inadequate, incompetent and aggressive employees keep their jobs.

And have a look at the info about
serial bullies too. http://www.successunlimited.co.uk/bully/serial.htm

Please, read this info. Take a suggestion from someone who has been to hell and is just clawing her way back into normal healthy life again. If I had known about bullies and how they operate before the bullying started I could have turned the whole situation around. As it was, I didn't find out about it until I had already lost my job and I was just working my last few weeks there. He screwed me, my life, my health and my psyche and he got away with it.

Helen