Irwin, I can`t grasp what you are going through,because I`m safe in New Zealand. You ask the question why don`t people understand? Death is death. It does`nt matter who you are. The situation you are in is a shocking area of the world. The "Crusades", while saying they were following the bible was a crock of sh__t.Here is your problem. I`m glad I live in Kiwi.Please PM.