OK...this one came from garrison kiellor's show. I've had mized reactions telling it: some people guffaw, some just roll their eyes.

Spring comes, and a bear wakes up from his long hibernation feeling very, very thirsty. He stretches and wanders out of his cave in search of something to drink. The spring is dried up, the stream is dry, so he wanders a while, eventually coming to a rural road. He follows the road down, and soon comes into a small town, where there is a bar on the corner.

The bear thinks "Hey! That's it, I"ll have a beer."

He goes into the bar. The bartender asks him, "What'll you have?"

The bear says "I'll have a beer..... (long pause here) and a bag of peanuts."

The bartender says "Why the big paws?"

Works better out loud. But seriously folks...why IS there such a dearth of new jokes lately??